Bear in my that love is not just a feeling, it’s a decision. Once you make that decision you will find yourself, unconsciously, keeping and making the relationship work. – Emy Francisco-Saguinsin
One time I went to mass the priest had his homily about love. About love being a choice. It’s not the infatuation, not the feeling.
Yes. When we start to feel we “love” someone, it doesn’t mean that what we do feel is “Love”. It’s called “infatuation”. The phase where we are attracted to all the good things we see about the other person – the smile, the eyes, the voice, the way he moves, the way he touches you, the way he treats you, the way he smells, the way he makes you feel good. We are attracted to all the good stuff. That’s not love.
The middle phase of “attraction” and “love” is what we call being “in-love”. After the 6 months to 1 year of the honey-moon stage of a relationship, little by little the bad stuff starts to surface. Then comes all the bad stuff, the cruel words, the arguments, the fights. Still we stay in the relationship, now that is “love”.
But then love is not the feeling. It’s not the good part.
Love is the decision to stay in a relationship. I admire old couple who have kept their vows in their wedding to love each other for as long as they both shall live.
You see, this couple have grown old. They’ve surpassed all the fights, arguments, the cruel words thrown by both. Like what the priest had said in his homily, old couples grow old but the “in-love” feeling have already turned gray along with their hair. The feeling is already wrinkled by time. The i love you’s are hardly heard. Still they stay together.
It is because they both decided to stay together no matter how fat the other have become, no matter how stinky the other could be, no matter how many times they may have hurt each other. After all the bad and worst, they both, decided to stay and keep their promise to stay together till death do they part. That’s love. That’s how love is the decision, the choice and not the feeling.